#2707
[Meanwhile, at Magnet Hill...]
Date: 03/16/2003
From: PharaohMobius
<<<Vacation Mode>>>
[...PM is standing with a bunch of other tourists waiting for the tour director to get to the good poin of her presentation.]
[Tour Director Becky] ...and so the early settlers of this region started to say that this hill was haunted. In fact, as recently as--
[PM] Look, can you just get to the punchline already?
[Becky, annoyed.] Sir, I was just getting to the demonstration of the hill's unusual properties. I just have to sum up a bit more of the rich history of--
[PM] Well, you're not summing it up fast enough. I have a giant ball of string, a giant ball of foil, the dwarf museum, and a giant ball of used gum to see before I turn in for the night.
[Becky, very annoyed.] I'm just doing my job, sir.
[PM] Yeah, yeah. Do the part where you show what this crappy hill thing does.
[Becky, way pissed.] Fine. Observe the phenomenon that has mystified countless spectators as I place this ball at the bottom of the hill... [She does so.] ...and it begins to roll *up* the hill! [The ball begins to roll uphill. The crowd oohs and ahs. All except for PM, that is.]
[PM] LAME!
[Becky, furious.] How can you say that? This is a phenomenon that no scientist has yet been able to explain!
[PM] Oh come on! It's *way* easy!
[Becky, incredulous.] Oh, I'm *so* sure that you're a scientist. I mean, you're wearing a scientist hat, after all! [The crowd snickers.]
[PM] Har har. In fact, I am. And I'll prove it by fixing your hill. [He takes his remote control thingie out of his pocket and fiddles with some dials, changes some vacuum tubes, and punches some buttons.]
[Becky] Oh, I'm *so* sure that you can cancel a phenomenon (she seems to love that word) that has baffled scientists around the world with a little rinky dink-- [She notices that the crowd is staring at something. She looks up to see the ball rolling back down the hill.] How... how... but, how did you do that?
[PM] Easy! I isolated the gravitic induction anomaly with a graviton stream, and set it right again with a low-grade pulse at 300 picohertz.
[Becky] ...
[PM] *Anyone* could do it, with the proper equipment.
[Becky] Okay, very impressive. Now, please put it back the way it was.
[PM] Oh, I can't do that.
[Becky] WHAT?!?
[PM] Nah, whatever caused this hill to be like that in the first place had a lot of power behind it, like a meteor strike or something. It didn't take much power to set it right because the earth's normal gravity field took over once I tripped the equilibrium. But my remote can't produce enough power to re-manufacture the anomaly.
[Becky] Say that again, without so much technobabble?
[PM] My remote could fix the hill, but it can't re-break it.
[Becky] I see. So, we're ruined. [She is silent for a moment.] SECURITY! HAVE THIS MAN ARRESTED!
[PM] Eep! [He makes a run for his roadster, hops in, and peels out.]
TmPM
Green Light, as long as PM's vacation
isn't interrupted in any way (like
by his being arrested, or outside
interference, or other such stuff).
By all means, come up with crappy,
tourist-trappy stops for him to make! =)
Sarcophagus!
#2708
<sneaking around mode>
Date: 03/16/2003
From: wurwolf
<Schmoe and wulfie, wearing black clothing, are sneaking up to the back wall of the GROPE headquarters. Schmoe is carrying a black backpack.>
Schmoe: Hon, why are we doing this? I have a bunch of stuff Tivoed and I wanna go watch it.
wurwolf: Because that damn Mickey thwarted my attempts to claim post number 2700! And THEN all of GROPE had the unbelievable nerve to make fun of me! I was SOOOOOOO outraged! And you know those assholes were all just sitting around in some chat room, just waiting to get post number 2700, and then laughing their heads off at me. And then Dorrrrrrrk had the nerve to call me short! Stupid c*cksuckers!
Schmoe: Oh jeez. So what, you got all the other important post numbers. Why are you so pissed about this one?
wurwolf: Just because. Did you make sure you put enough explosives in that bag?
Schmoe: Of course I did. You know what, hon, I make fun of you all the time too, does that mean you're going to blow me up in my sleep some night?
wurwolf: You just watch your step, you.
Schmoe: Oh f*cker. Now, you're scaring me.
wurwolf: What I want to know is, why did you insist we wear all black if we're doing this in broad daylight?
Schmoe: Because black's super cool, baby. I look awesome in black!
wurwolf: <rolls her eyes> Whatever. <fumbles around with the buttons and switches> Hang on, let me set the timer here.....
Schmoe: Hurry up, I think I hear voices.
wurwolf: Okay, here we go. It's all set. Let's blow!
Schmoe: Oh baby!
wurwolf: Oh you. Come on, we gotta go find the car! <grabs Schmoe's hand and off they run!>
wurwolf
Bonhead #3
fs!!
[Philippines][Pirate]
#2709
By the way....
Date: 03/16/2003
From: wurwolf
Continuity be damned! I don't care if GROPE headquarters is no more or whatever! You take it!
wurwolf
Bonhead #3
fs!!
[Philippines][Pirate]
Now I've gotta write one for MSTBlanca.....
#2710
PM's roadster pulls up at a old, country
Date: 03/16/2003
From: ServoTheGreat
general store...
PM: Hmm... I seem to be a bit lost. (Sees on the porch of the general store, an old hillbilly sitting there relaxing.) Ah, a local. I shall ask him where the nearest road trap is at. (Approaches the old man) Afternoon, sir, would you by any chance know where the nearest attraction may be?
Hillbilly: 'Ou gots a nice car 'er, fella.
PM: Um, yes, anyway would you happen to know where--
Hillbilly: Rea' nice car, fella. 'Ou fro' da city, by 'eny chance?
PM: Well, I have a restaurant in NOTEUROPE.
Hillbilly: 'Ey, cityboy, I likes you car.
PM: Yes, I know, we've gone over this several times already.
Hillbilly: Don' 'ou sas me, boy!
PM: Eh?
Hillbilly: 'Ou 'erd me! (Reaches for a tire iron on the ground next to him) I also like d'at hat on 'er head too.
PM: (Nervous, clutches his hat) Heh heh, you know what? I think I have to be leaving. I left the iron on in my car...
Hillbilly: Gimme d'at car, 'en hat! (Takes a swing at PM with the tire iron and misses)
(PM runs back to his car, screaming like pansy. When he gets into the car he puts into reverse, and slams on the gas. The Hillbilly followed him of the porch, and as PM peels away, he throws the tire iron at the windshield, leaving a huge crack in it)
PM: (A distance away from the dangerous hillbilly) Oh man, this is worse than when those cows wrecked me car... *Sniff* *Sniff* (Realizes he crapped himself) Oh damn, I need to change...
ServoTheGreat
PM isn't gonna like that one!
Annnnnnnnnnd... GREEN LIGHT!
#2711
For the record...
Date: 03/16/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
I was nowhere near a chat room when I took 2700! Na na na na naaaah!
MTG etc
#2712
You know what?
Date: 03/16/2003
From: Carmelita9000
*********************************************************
Eww.
I have a strong suspicion that PM's gonna veto that reply, STG.
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
#2713
I gotta agree with you, Lita.
Date: 03/16/2003
From: wurwolf
PM's not going to approve. I don't think making another person crap in their pants is quite kosher. :o(
<wulfie runs after Mickey with Schmoe's steak knife and scares Mickey so much that he craps in his pants.>
Ooops! :o)
wurwolf
Bonhead #3
fs!!
[Philippines][Pirate]
#2714
Say, wurwolf...
Date: 03/16/2003
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
Actually, Mickey managed to mess up your 2700 all on his own. The rest of us just happened to notice it after the fact and felt the need to poin at you.
Still, though, I fully support your desire to blow up MSTBlanca. Sadly, it was already blown up recently by Evil Mike and hasn't been rebuilt yet since whatever gizmo rebuilds it got jammed. But because I'm interested in seeing PM pay for his rudeness to you just as much as you are...
*******************************
Nabut: Hey! I finally managed to unjam the thingamabob!
<MSTBlanca rebuilds itself, conveniently right near wherever wurwolf is right now.>
*******************************
There. Have fun. >:oD
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
Tork and Lita6969 are the only ones at GROPE HQ right now.
Oh well. Sucks for them.
#2715
Man, I'm just racking up the obscene
Date: 03/16/2003
From: ServoTheGreat
replies lately. Think PM'll really get mad enough to veto it? I hope he just veto's the last line, ya know, the crapping line. I know the agreement was to veto it all, but I think the scene of PM driving away in reverse while a Hillbilly throws a tire iron at him, is pretty funny... Or at least I think it is.
So, what say you, PM? I don't really care one way, or the other.
#2716
Oh, and 17*16* is all mine!
Date: 03/16/2003
From: ServoTheGreat
They'll never be another reply 1716 again, and the only on in existence is mine! MINE, MINE, MINE!!!
#2717
Actually, Tork's chair got 1716. n/t
Date: 03/16/2003
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
:oÞ
#2718
D'oh! I meant *2*716...
Date: 03/16/2003
From: ServoTheGreat
Heh heh...
#2719
Hey! You quit stealing
Date: 03/17/2003
From: Tork_110
replies from my chair!
Thief!
#2720
Hi, fair citizens!
Date: 03/17/2003
From: Torkyman
I just wanted to see how everything is doing.
<Torkyman flexes his muscles. He gets really muscular after fighting crime all the time.>
#2721
Tork: Oooh! This is fun!
Date: 03/17/2003
From: MickeyTheGardener
We'll have sex, and then I'll get that Billy Ripken card off eBay where he's got that naughty word written on his bat and I'll be truly happy!
6969: (Watching the window, you know that window I had put in earlier) Um, Torky baby?
Tork: Not now, hon. I'm having a moment.
6969: Why are there feet dangling in front of the window?
Tork: Huh.....I don't remember having those put in. (Shrugs it off) Maybe it's Batman....let's go have sex!
6969: I'm scared Torky baby...what if it's Sunday?
Tork: Who?
6969: Oh no! She tracked you down and she's going to kill us all and....
Tork: Sunday's been here. She knows where GROPE is. And her legs are way bigger.
6969: Torky, let's get out of here!
Tork: Fine! Let's go do it in the garden!
6969: Geez Tork, is that all you think about?
Tork: Well.....look who's talking!
6969: Well....huh. Touche I guess. (/a grabs Tork....get your mind out of the gutters people!....and they run out of GROPE hq)
wurwolf and Schmoe (Running away really fast): Oh sh*t.
Tork: Schmoe! wurwolf! What brings you two to our neck of the woods?
wurwolf: Well...uh...we were in the neighborhood, and...
Tork: Ever get those comics back from PM, Schmoe?
Schmoe: Um...heh...DUCK!!!
(KABOOM!!!! GROPE HQ is no more)
wurwolf: Tough break. Damn that faulty wiring.
Tork: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! My collection!
6969: Well, we've still got eachother, Torky
Tork: Oh not now.
Mickey T Gardener
BBoard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x4
Tork sounded horny in this reply
Green light!
#2722
<S & W and T & 6969 stand around...>
Date: 03/17/2003
From: wurwolf
wurwolf: Welp, gotta run. We've got other places to.... uh.... visit.
Tork: You mean blow up, don't you?
wurwolf: Absolutely not! We did not blow anything up! We're innocent bystanders, just like you guys!
6969: Some of us aren't so innocent. Let's go have sex, Torky!
Schmoe: Oh jeez, keep it in your pants, you two. Have some common decency.
wurwolf: I know! Come on, hon, we've gotta go find MSTBlanca.
Tork: Why, so you can blow it up?
Schmoe: NO! I'm still trying to get back my comic books.
<Suddenly MSTBlanca appears out of nowhere.>
Tork: Well, here's MSTBlanca. Go in and look for your comic books.
wurwolf: Um, I need to check something..... around back.... I need to read the meter.
Tork: Why on earth do you need to read the meter? Get a new job?
wurwolf: As a matter of fact I have. Hon, you help me please.
Schmoe: I wanna get my comic books first.
wurwolf: NO! <looks nervously at Tork and 6969> I mean, heh heh, we need to read the meter before anything else.
Schmoe: F*ck you, dog, I've waited all this time to get those limited edition comic books back and I'm not gonna let you blow them up.
Tork & 6969: Aha! You *are* going to blow up MSTBlanca!
wurwolf: Hmmph! Motherf*cker, you screwed it all up!
Schmoe: Whatever. I'm getting my comic books. <goes into MSTBlanca>
wurwolf: Heh heh.... You guys won't tell, right?
Tork: If you play your cards right, we won't.
wurwolf: F*cker.
<Schmoe comes walking back out, looking perturbed.>
Schmoe: No comic books, hon. Worse yet, PM's henchmen are all inside.
wurwolf: No, hon, that's great! Now we can do some real damage! Whoohoo!
<wulfie races around to the back of MSTBlanca. She pulls a box with a timer out of her Badzt Maru bookbag and sets it against the wall.>
wurwolf: Okay, hon! Let's split before we get nailed!
Schmoe: Oh baby!
wurwolf: Whoohoo! MSTBlanca's gonna blow!
Tork: <racing for cover with 6969> It already does!
Schmoe: And so are you, baby, if I have anything to say about it!
Tork & 6969: GROSS!
wurwolf: Everyone DUCK!
KA-BLAMMMMMMMMMM!
wurwolf
Bonhead #3
fs!!
[Philippines][Pirate]
#2723
Tork: That's how you explode stuff!!1!
Date: 03/17/2003
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
6969: Evil Mike would be totally jealous.
wurwolf: Thank you! Maybe some day you'll learn to rock as much as I do.
<Just then, Spidey pulls up. Lita, Evil Mike, Mickey, Rimmi, Lita42, and Lita2780 all climb out.>
Lita: After GROPE *totally* won that fight with PM's henchmen, I found my cell phone and had some Spidey Chow delivered to Spidey so he could come pick us up! And that's how we got here.
wurwolf: Yeah. And I'm glad you told us that thrilling story. Thanks for wasting our time! Now Schmoe and I have to leave.
Rimmi: <poins to the pile of rocks that used to be GROPE HQ> What happened to our hideout?
Schmoe: We didn't do it.
Lita: MY BONO POSTERS WERE IN THERE!!1!! <All Litas present start crying, except for Lita2780 who is more interesting in talking to Kitty and picking the more shiny rocks out of the pile>
wurwolf: Yep. That's sad. See you guys later.
Tork: Hey! Wait!
wurwolf: What?
Tork: Now that you exploded GR--
wurwolf: *AHEM*!!
Tork: Of *course* I mean, now that GROPE HQ just exploded for no reason, GROPE is homeless!
wurwolf: Yep. It sure is. That's sad. Bye!
Tork: wurwolf, since you and Schmoe are *such* good friends of ours, I'm sure you wouldn't mind letting us stay at your place, right?
wurwolf: What, *all* of you?
Schmoe: Oh Hell!
[What? I'm working on the cussing, ok?]
Tork: It wouldn't be forever. Just until we find a new hideout. We'd work *really* hard to find one fast and not be any inconvenience to you. *I promise*!
wurwolf: Um...
Tork: By the way. I'm sure I saw what happened when GROPE HQ exploded, but somehow I just don't remember who did it! Wouldn't it be something if I suddenly remembered, wulfie?
wurwolf: F*CK!!
[Woo! I did it!]
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
Next up: ServoTheGreat races ... himself!
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